All posts tagged: story

The Tale of What the H*ll

This story is about six-year-old Elli, my eldest daughter, and the naughty word she learned and my inability to cope. It isn’t necessarily a recent story since Elli is now seven-years-old. It’s still a good one. I have always heard that when your child says their first bad word not to laugh so they won’t repeat their new hilarious joke, although, I have never heard what you’re actually supposed to do. What’s the rule? I thought I had more time to prepare for this! I obviously don’t know what I’m doing. Zack hears her say it the first time. She casually asks him, “What the hell is going on?”¬†As if she’s just making idle conversation. “Uhh, what did you just say?” “I said ‘What the hell is going on, Daddy?” Strike number 1 for you, Zack. He just sits there trying his hardest not to laugh. Typical dad response, I’m sure. Did I mention that he’s weirdly proud of her? I don’t get that. Which is probably a typical mom response. A few days later …

Kids Say It Like It Is

Kids have no filter. None at all. If you want to know the truth about how you look, just ask a child, he/she will show you honesty in its purest form. But you probably shouldn’t because kids are blunt and harsh and mean and they know how to cut you right to your very soul and leave you a mess of the person you once were. Or maybe it’s not that bad…but it is. And I know everyone can relate to this because everyone has been insulted and/or bullied by a kid at some point in their lives. I remember once when I was growing up there was a little girl who had a little green front tooth. It looked like she had squished a pea between two of her teeth. Obviously I was being nice to her and she seemed super interested in me. In fact, she wouldn’t stop staring at me. Finally, with a look of pure disgust, she asks, “Why are your teeth so yellow?” Excuse me, Pea Tooth? You’re going to …